IFS: 29 July - 16 August 2011

This was from my time at IFS in Pueblo, CO. It was definitely a struggle for me. I struggled with the actual training greatly, but also wrestled with feeling very unfulfilled flying, wondering if being a pilot in the Air Force really was what God had for me. I didn't enjoy what I was doing. Eventually made it through the training with mild success but, to this day, the whole IFS experience is a blur and I couldn't tell you what I learned there. I was just grateful to be done.

Friday, 29 July 2011

            This is my first significant time outside in three days but it feels like more. Days are filled with classroom lectures from 7am until 4:30pm with a lunch break in between. I’m trying to absorb everything but it’s a lot and usually overwhelming. Don’t even have time to think about how I feel about all of this, or if I’m enjoying it. Just do it.

            II Timothy 3:10-17

            I feel like Timothy and I come from similar backgrounds. We have a lot to be thankful for that we cannot take credit for having. It’s just been given to me. I don’t have to read the Word to know what it says because I already know it – not because I was born with knowledge but because I was born into a community and brought into a church that inundated me with incredible Biblical knowledge and wisdom. That was a gift!

            Even though I know this Book well it is not overused and worn out in my life. It will continue to inspire forever, so that God may be glorified and me equipped

Saturday, 6 August 2011

            II Timothy 4:9-22

            “[S]o that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it.”

            This is my chief end; it’s not being successful. Here at IFS my sole purpose has been perfection in flying planes. It’s exhausting and unfulfilling. The reward for doing well is so small in comparison to the preparation you have to go through for the rest of the day. I don’t want to spend time investing in an airplane. I want to invest in people. I want to pursue the Lord.

            Father I confess that You’ve been an afterthought while I’ve been here. I don’t want my life to be that way. You are my first love, and greatest endeavor in life. My life, my training is Yours. It’s not mine to own. I give up my right to do what I want. Please use me for Your Kingdom’s sake. That’s the only thing that gives me lasting fulfillment.

Saturday, 13 August 2011

            The Word of the Lord is encouraging. Reading it, hearing it, just knowing it’s there is enough to comfort. These have been hard days and I’ve struggled and been beaten down in ways I’ve never experienced. The end is closer but I still have no confidence in my abilities. It’s Christ in me that succeeds. If you could read my thoughts while studying and know my temperament in the plane you’d agree, too. It’s the Holy Spirit that comforts me.

            “My hope comes from above.” My confidence in the Lord is such that the results from this program will not have an effect on my joy. If I strive to please Christ while I’m here I cannot fail (in spiritual terms (in human terms I absolutely fail)); and I’m not talking about becoming a pilot. My goal is to bring glory to God. If that means being screened (cut from the program) then so be it. If it means passing my check ride then even more so be it. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” even bring glory to God and have joy in the midst of human failure.

            “It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.” I pray for this. When it comes, though, my joy often turns to depression because my focus is on my circumstances and my wants. But if I turn to the Word in depression I find joy. The Word points me to Christ, and there is where my focus turns. I am Christ’s, and He never fails me. When my gaze is fixed on Jesus I see how big He is and how small my situation is. In affliction I find how sweet Your Word is, sweeter than honey.

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

            Mark 12:28-34

            The only thing of worth we can bring to others is love. Wisdom and knowledge are great but can be found in the world. The love of God, however, is shown to the world through His children. Love, is the greatest commandment. Love remains. There is no love like the love of Jesus. When I become unsure of what love is I have only to look to Jesus and what He did for me. Love is action.

            I soloed today. One week ago I didn’t think I’d make it. I don’t think I’ll make tomorrow by myself. The only way I’ve made it this far and the only way I’ll make it through tomorrow is the Spirit’s intervention. I am not confident of my skills but I have great confidence in the will of God to get me where I need to be. If I become a pilot it will be because my Father made me a pilot.

            If the Lord wants us to go somewhere we are going to end up there. The only choice we have is how we travel. We can go unwillingly like Jonah or run there like Abraham and Elijah. Run.

            Seeing how I got through college, seeing how I’ve made it this far and looking at my talents, abilities, lack of talents and abilities, loves, passions and interests it’s obvious I am where God wants me. He loves me.